READING, PA- Pronounced READING not READING.

I can't express in words how much I dislike flight attendants and airline workers. Without stamping my foot and gesticulating wildly I don't know if I can convey how horrible these people are. WHY wouldn't you smile when I walk up to you? I say good morning and you just stare at me?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- I don't go to my job and not tell jokes, so why is it so hard for you to at least act like you are happy to be alive. I know, I know you work at the airport- SUCKS- but it's not my problem- NOW GIVE ME A GOD DAMNED WINDOW SEAT. WHY are non reclining back aisle seats as much as regular seats? You people should be shot. 

In other news, in the American Terminal this morning there was a lesbian couple...totally whatever but they were black and the "guy" of the relationship must have said "nigger" about 50 times...like super loud. In fact, everything she said was super loud, she was complaining about a dog that was staying at her house or something. You don't realize how not racist you are until someone else's racial slurs, especially about their own race, offends you. I would have told her to give it a rest, but she totally would have killed me...and then tried to date me- probably not that order...then again, who knows what she is into...besides yelling the N word super loud in public.

Reading, PA is home to one of the best things I have ever been to. I love convenient stores. I love 7-11s, AMPMs, Circle K, ALLSUPS- ANY OF THEM. I love the selection, bright colors and the little unique things each one caries making them unique. I thought 7/11 was the best..until I went into a SHEETZ...

http://www.sheetz.com/main/coffee/sbc.cfm

specifically- their Espresso Bar. HOLY SHIT. 

Not only can you customize your own drink- iced, hot, blended, smoothie- but you can pick from a thousand more flavors than Starbucks has AND you order it on the most user friendly touch screen ever! YOU CAN EVEN ORDER food!

I loved it so much I looked into franchise information! (They only sell to people in their family- it's family owned... nepotism at it's tasty best.

When I got to my hotel I had a few choices for dinner.

Eat at Red Lobster and feel jipped

Eat at Hooters and feel like a creep

Eat at Olive Garden and feel too full

Eat at Applebees and feel gross

I went with Applebees on the insane logic that I had at least eaten there and knew how bad the food was going in- sort of a "better the devil you know" sort of thing. 

Dear Crapplebees- YOUR FOOD IS TERRIBLE, YOUR CLIENTS ARE ULGY and that is all.

The picture above is actually a picture from their menu- way to prey on the mentally unstable Applebees. Ugh, go add some more MSG oil to your soup.

Alvernia University is a small Catholic private school nestled in the heart of Reading. I performed in a lecture hall complete with giant chalk boards- which I totally scribbled on during my set for no reason- I wish I always had a chalkboard with me, made me feel like I was imparting real scholastic wisdom.