PITTSBURGH

PITTSBURGH 
I don't think it really matters what city I'm in because my nights end in one of two ways. I go back to my hotel room or go out and get smashed with an old friend. I know I say in my act that I don't drink, and I don't...unless I'm out getting smashed with an old friend. The current time is is 4:51 am and the airport car is coming to get me at 6 to take me back to LA. 

I spent Aug 13 through today, Aug 16th headlining with Pittsburgh Improv. But I don't think I wanna make this blog about the clubs. I've only been working the road for a year. It's fine. I've gotten over the lonely part- in fact, I have begun to prefer it...One step closer to becoming a creepy old woman, huh? My friend Bill Crawford was my feature this weekend, we went to college together and he does stand up in Pittsburgh. I was more than thrilled to not only have a funny friend as my feature, but to have someone to hang out with. Thanks to Bill I now know what a "Yinzer" is and I have somewhat of a grasp on that ridiculous accent. It's a cross between cockney, a southern accent and a valley girl voice. If you tried it anywhere outside of this state, people would just think you were bad at one of the former. 

Friday morning I did radio on WDVE and they asked me if I like the Food Network (I'm such a loser that I actually have it written in my press bio as a hobby of mine. Not hiking, not skiing- watching people MAKE FOOD). I guess I was so happy to be talking about something other than the ever-innocuous "what's it like being a female in stand up" (it's like being a guy but without a weiner and the initial respect) that I launched into a 5 min diatribe about the Food Network, specifically Paula Deen (get a look at this maniac www.pauladeen.com) replete with impressions of her and Rachael Ray. Apparently people liked it because not only did people yell out "DO PAULA DEEN" during my show, I also had to apologize to several disappointed show-goers when I didn't do it...Sorry ya'll. Guess that's in my act now.

We went to South Pittsburgh friday night with Randy from WDVE. 

We drank something called "rocket fuel"- it came in a classroom juice pitcher.

We drank beers at several bars along the walk to another bar.

We drank tequila shots (my call)

I ate 8 dollars worth of pizza.

I bit someone.

I danced on the sidewalk up against anyone that passed me...so I hear.

I slept till 4pm the next day.

Did the show saturday. Saturday night we went to this Pittsburgh favorite

http://www.primantibrothers.com/  

That crazy sandwich on the top left of their homepage? I ate that...sober. I had a sip of an Iron City Pounder...and, that's probably the most I will ever have of one of those.

Slept till 4:30pm sunday, based on the sandwich you can see why. Walked around the outdoor shopping center that surrounds the Pittsburgh Improv. Improvs are always in outdoor malls. When I'm doing a weekend at an Improv is the only time I'm actually excited to see an American Eagle. It's like when you go to sleep away camp and you get to go on a field trip to the local drug store- it's a big deal for some reason. 

I guess I really Fd myself over by sleeping till 4:30 today because now I can't sleep. I can't sleep AND I have work to do. Usually when you have work you can put it off by saying "I should get a good night's sleep" or by just plain being tired. I watched everything on Tv; Family Guy, Tropic Thunder, The News, Robot Chicken, True Blood, a hair infomercial- stole a TWIX from the hotel lobby...Then went back downstairs and told them I took it...I could have gotten away with it too, the night receptionist wasn't even there...But I didn't want it to come out of her pay...or the hotels...Then again, I saved them money because I didn't let the maid in all weekend, so that saved her time enabling her to work at other tasks. I ate the twix thinking "ok, I'll eat my Twix and do some writing..." 30 minutes later the Twix was gone and I had decided to set up this blog instead of do my writing...oh, and I went and bought soup. 

I debated texting a boy that I like- but...I can't really see an upside. The downside is he might not write back, and then I'd feel like an jerk. Or he could write back...and we'd have a boring and perhaps exhausting conversation, effectively extinguishing any burning desires or romantic pictures I had painted in my head. It's probably best that I never talk to this boy and just look at his facebook page bi-weekly...daily.

So, Pittsburgh- I had fun. I'm totally and utterly in love with America and any chance I get to see the suburbs and cities...and burghs that make it up, I'm happy. It was good to be in the "City-a-Champianz-n-nat"-.